Friday, August 6, 2010

Destruction of a Doormat

How many times can you be walked on before you split in two?  How many times can you be walked on and not trip someone.

I live my life in a naive world of trust and mutual respect.  I expect what I send out to be returned to me.  When will I learn.

I do not like confrontation - I believe only very egocentric people do - and I try like hell to avoid it.  I like openness and consideration and honesty and respect.  Now class, I'd like to spend a moment with each of those things.

Openness - characterized by ready accessibility and usually generous attitude.  This is one of the definitions, but they are all basically the same.  I have an open door policy in my work and my life.  You ask a question and I will give you an answer, and I will give you that answer in a nurturing and positive manner.  No screaming, no subversion, no sneaking.  Along those lines... I cannot fix that which I do not know.  If there is a problem, talk to me and we'll work through it together.  And no PETTY SHIT.

The world seems to run on petty.  The further I get from middle school, the closer the drama gets to me.  Everyone needs to lighten up a little.  Not everyone is out to get you.  Not every joke is about you.  Not every comment reflects you personally.  Not every decision is yours to make.

Consideration - thoughtful and sympathetic regard.  In other words thinking of something other than yourself.  I feel I am a considerate person.  I worry about people when they are ill or stretched too thin.  I worry about people when they have had no rest or no time off.  I worry about people who close me out because I'm afraid that it's something I have done.  I will bend backwards to make your life easier... if you let me and I will do it at cost to myself and with no fanfare.  Does anyone know how many bullets I've taken for them?  No, because I don't need to broadcast my successes or achievements.  Does anyone know how I keep everything together?  No, because I don't need sympathy to buoy my ego.

Honesty - is such a lonely word, everyone is so untrue... honesty is hardly ever heard, and mostly what I need from you.  Billy Joel said it best, you can't deny that fact.

Respect - to consider worthy of high or special regard.  I know when I'm out of my element.  I know when I am out of my league.  Not only do I know, but I recognize it by giving that person every freedom to explore and freedom to release their greatness.  Why is my respect taken as a sign of weakness?  Why is my respect used against me?

I DO NOT want to chase people to beg them to allow me to be included in my own activities.  I WANT THE SAME RESPECT that I give to everyone else.  I DESERVE to be recognized for the things I do.  I AM NOT A DOORMAT.