Karen's Kiddie Corner

I teach young children to dance.  It's very frustrating yet at the same time it's very rewarding.  It's also full of surprises.

The other day, we were working on our splits.  One of the 4 year olds tried a split.  Then she said: "This hurts my vagina."

........ Uh......... Er.......... Hm........

My assistant is no help, she's laughing in the corner, and this little girl is looking at me with such earnest eyes all I could say was "Well, it shouldn't hurt.  Let's try toe touches."

Good times, good times.

Karen's Krazy!

So I'm a slacker...

I started this blog and was pretty faithful to it... for a while.  Life and illness just kind of krept in on me. It's hard to keep EVERYTHING on track ALL the time.  Hell, I can hardly keep my Kaboose on track for a day!  (You see what I did there?  Huh?  Huh?... Yeah...)

I've been on some new meds that have really helped me return to some semblance of normal so I think I'm ready to rejoin Blogworld.  I've resolved to try to get to this blog more often.  I have had so many great ideas and so many things to talk about, then I promptly forget them all!

Plus, it is almost time for Karen's Kristmas Korner... I have a feeling that those naughty little elves are going to be back...  

Karen's Kitty Kousin Korner - Addendum!

There is a new Kitty Kousin!

At Crappyfest, a friend of mine sent out the alert of a little litter of unwanted kitties.  I put my staff on it right away, and.....

Meet Ruthie!  She lives in the South with her sisters Mya and Olivia.

She was the runt of the litter and so tiny at 3 weeks old.

Look at her now!!!

Karen's Khristmas Korner - The Krash

Karen's Khristmas Korner

I have just been introduced to the "Elf on the Shelf" blackmail... er... I mean holiday tradition.

If you are of a certain age (such as myself!!), you may remember the funky little elves that were used as Christmas decorations.  They were, and still are, ugly little sons-of-guns.  They were always hunched up with their hands tied together and their knees shoved up to their chins.

 I loved these little guys.

 I would shove them into the tree or they would ride a carriage or straddle pine cones on a mantel.  Then they kind of disappeared from the public eye to be replaced by LED lights, glittered snowflakes, and Oriental Trading foam monstrosities.

Our little elf family was zippered up in a plastic baggie and relegated to the attic until.....

DA DA DAAAAAAAA!!!

The Elf on the Shelf???  What is this "tradition" they are talking about?  I had been seeing pictures online of my fugly elf in all sorts of precarious situations.  I just thought that it was people like me, rediscovering their old neglected ugly elves and having a bit of fun.  But no, I was wrong.  It's just a new money making scheme to get kids to do things and behave in a way at Christmas time that they should already be doing all year round!!!

The simple premise is:  Santa has dropped one of his elves at a child's house to watch the child.  The children have to give him a name.  The elf is magic and only moves at night.  As soon as he is spotted by the family, he freezes.  The elf reports back to Santa whether the children have been good or bad.  If the elf is touched, he loses his Christmas magic and is sent back to Santa.

WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THIS!!!!!!!   SO MANY CHILDREN!!!  SO MANY DESPERATE PARENTS!!!

ARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!

In my day, we didn't need an "Elf on the Shelf" to make sure we said "excuse me" when we burped.

In my day, we didn't need an "Elf on the Shelf" to make sure we ate all of our food.

In my day, we didn't need an "Elf on the Shelf" to make sure we did our chores.

In my day, we didn't need an "Elf on the Shelf" to make sure we said "Please" and "Thank You."

In my day, we had... oh... what's that word....

PARENTS!?

It's enough 

to drive any 

self respecting 

Elf 

to drink!

Or elf mover... mmmmm!

I mean, really?  It's just little people blackmail!  
Why not just drug the kids so they're good ALL the
time... and calm...  Ooh!  They always say children
should be seen and not heard!  They'd be really quiet
if they were drugged!


Say, that's not such a bad idea!!

But, I can hear you say, 

children are soooo much fun 

when they're 

active and 

playing and 

carefree...

We have an answer to that too!!

Say, this Elf on the Shelf thing has a lot of possibilities!

Dirty little buggers!  


Who watches the elves, I wonder?

It's an Elven message. 

 It means Skippy McTavish 

 sleeps with the tinsel.

Ah, tinsel on the highway...
Elves can be mommy's little
helpers too!  Carpooling just
got a whole lot easier!

A little Elven magic and parents don't
even have to leave the house!!

Ooops!

Oh Herbie!  You little dickens!

And homework!!  No more
pesky spelling lists for parents!

Aren't the quads just precious?







Thank you Elf on the Shelf!  I've finally got my life back!!

Elf on the Shelf!  Way better than parents!!!

Karen's Kitty Kousin Korner

My last blog was about kitties.  Lots and lots of kitties.  I was a bad kitty though, because I left two kitties out of my family tree.

First is Mya.  Mya was picked out by Jenn out of a litter of like 342 cute kitties!  Mya is really Jenn's cat, but I am the summer camp while she isn't at school.  Mya had old man ear hairs and the longest whiskers ever! Her tail is long and puffy and she is a very sweet cat.  I do miss her when she isn't here.

Mya at 8 weeks!  So cute!!!!!









Mya at 4 months.  She ate a LEGO head a couple of months after this.







The other kitty is Olivia.  She was found at the Humane Society by Jenn's roommate Kelsey.  Kelsey and Olivia bonded instantly!  Olive was about 8 or 9 months old when she came to the kennel.  She was very skinny and a little crazy!!  She is very sweet and has calmed down immensely.  We still fear for her safety as she is not exactly the sharpest crayon in the box.

Olivia at home in Pittsburgh.  Living la vida loca!









Olivia in the sink in Pittsburgh... so weird.









Mya and Olivia... sisters!












So those are the kitty kousins... I could never forget them!

Karen's Kitty Korner

Ok, it's been a while!  I admit that freely.

I've had so many ideas for the blog but have just not had the time... or the brain cells.  By the time I get home, I've forgotten my great blog idea!!

Today, we're gonna talk about kitties.  Lots of kitties.  I happen to have lots of kitties.  I am now the Kitty Lady.

All of my kitties were abandoned and unloved.  I find I am getting angrier and angrier with every cat I see on the streets.  Pets depend on us for everything.  If you do not intend to keep your pet inside and love them, don't freaking own them!!!




Wallaby - lost and injured in the parking lot in the winter.  Scrawny and scared, he hid under the couch for a few weeks.










Now look at my big boy!  He knows his name, sleeps next to me, and mothers all the little ones!



 

Millie - found at the Humane Society.  She was sleeping in her food dish and as soon as I held her she purred and licked and kneaded me... and "needed" me.  She is the sweetest kitty ever, very affectionate, and has had two - count em - two hysterectomies!









She's also a seat stealer!!!!

Edith Ann - hit by a car in Oil City and rescued from a life on the streets or worse.  She was only 4 weeks old.  She bonded with Wallaby and followed him around like a shadow!  She was shy of any one's touch and spent time under the bed... a lot of time!








Edith Ann now.  Loves to be pet and still follows Wallaby around - much to his dismay sometimes!








Eli - the new baby.  He was found in a box by the river with 3 other kittens.  He was only 3 weeks old, scrawny, and sad.  He is now 5 weeks old, eats solid food, knows where the litter boxes are, and is the cuddliest kitten I've ever seen.  All he wants is to be held and loved.







Please Please PLEASE!  Care for your pets, spay and neuter them, protect them, and love them.